Forgetting at an
instant
For a long
time, my mom all alone raised us; four daughters.
Looking back
at those years, I don’t know how she managed to raise us up all by
herself.
I
cannot even conceive the idea of raising four children all by myself, but I
guess it was all possible for her because she was my mom.
Few years
ago, my mom had a big surgery.
Though she
had to rest, because of the wretched circumstances, she just had to work
strenuously.
Though we all
grew up and became adults, since we were busy, we didn’t know or
forgot how strenuous it was for her.
When mom
comes home from work, she starts doing the housework right away.
After then,
she comes to my room and talks about her daily routine.
She isn’t a talk-active person, but these days she
frequently stops by and talks to me a lot.
I really
wanted to be nice to her, but I was exhausted. So I tend to listen to her
vacantly.
Seeing how I
reacted, she would quickly end her conversation and leave my room.
When this
happens, I feel sorry for her.
I always make
a resolution that I wouldn’t repeat this mistake again, but it happens to me all
the time.
One day,
seeing her leaving my room, her shoulders seemed so small.
When I and my
sisters were young, she didn’t have a moment to talk with us.
That is why
we always went to her to talk with her.
Whenever we
did, she never showed how tired she was.
She always
listened to all what we have said, but I didn’t.
Few days ago,
my mom said that she had pain in her arms and legs.
I just told
her to “go to the hospital,” and when she repeatedly said that every day, I
started to ignore.
When I started to think lying down my bed, it reminded
me that my mom had a surgery for cancer.
I forgot that
she wasn’t a healthy person at all.
I felt
ashamed that I just told her to go to the hospital.
During break
time in my working place, I started to search for good medicine and food for my
mom.
Thinking that
I simply just needed to turn on the computer and type some words, I felt so
sorry.
The reason
how I could grow up without any trouble was because of my mom’s sacrifice.
And
I…
I always
forgot about her when I turned my back, went to work, and while I was having a
hard time.
At this
moment, Heavenly Mother is also next to me, praying for me continuously every
day, every second.
But I always
forgot.
Just because
of the world that I am living in, because I was busy, because I was
exhausted…
I just forgot
about Her.
I truly want
to be a filial daughter for my mom and to my Heavenly Mother.
I want to be
a filial daughter who gives joy, happiness, and
smiles.