When Can I live without regret?
When can I say I am sorry to my parents?
"Father’s love that I later realized"
My father raised us; three children, all alone.
And among those children, he loved me most, who resembled him.
During childhood, he used to take me on his motorcycle when he went hunting or fishing.
I also loved to follow him wherever he went.
As I became a junior high, I liked hanging around with my friends instead of spending time with my father.
“Your dad’s here.”
It was when we were having P.E.
I quickly said it wasn’t my father and ran away.
Noticing that I was embarrassed of him, he silently left without calling my name.
From that day, he didn’t visit my school.
As I became a grownup, I started to come home really late.
My father used to save meat dishes that he made for dinner. Then, he would call me to his room and fed me.
With annoyed look and voice, I would go to my room, saying that I was exhausted and sleepy.
In those years, I couldn’t realize.
The love of my father who waited for me spending all night without sleep, making sure the room was warm enough.
There was a time when I received a gallstone operation.
Since I had no mother, it was my father’s duty to look after me.
My gallstone got infected after the operation and had to be hospitalized for a month.
My father would come to the hospital 7 in the morning and went home 11 in the evening.
Though he spent his whole month for me, this immature daughter was annoyed of him being closed to me and thinking that my friends were uncomfortable with him, I would go to places where he was not present.
I would fume and fret to my father who looked after me every day.
I even starved myself saying that I’ve lost my appetite.
My father would then pack some food at home and come to the hospital which took 3 hours by bus.
Worrying that I needed to eat well in order to take strong medicine, he would always prepare the food nice and warm.
Early morning till late night he would only consider me, but I fumed and fretted and was annoyed with him.
When I finally realized my father’s silent love, he was no longer with me.
That regret still remains in my heart thinking that I should have realized sooner.
As time passes by, I realize how deep and wide my father’s love was.
And then I started to think about Heavenly Father.
I see myself how carelessly I considered Heavenly Father’s untiring love, coming to this earth to give us life.
How painful his heart must have been whenever I neglected Father’s love.
I promised myself not to leave regret in my heart again.
As a child who has received Heavenly Father’s great love, I now want to get on his side and become a child who can give him joy.
Our Father, Christ Ahnsahnghong! You scrimped and saved Your poor wages, skipping Your poor meals to buy paper and oil for Book of Truth for us. And Your hands callused by breaking stones. Give thanks for Your infinite love.
ReplyDeleteSometimes i forget the love of Heavenly Father, His great sacrifice toward me, but from now i will be the child of Heavenly Father who always remember His love deeply and give Him joy.
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